AN UNEXPECTED START
The events that happened in my early life definitely shaped my physiology, which later led to various health issues. It also lay down the foundations for how I related to others, how successful my love relationships would be and how I cared for and raised my own children.
By the time I was 15, I’d lived in six different countries and 12 different houses! Some of it with my parents, and some without, but most of it was apart from my Mother. She hadn’t died, she’d just gone….without explanation (for me, anyway). In doing so, she left a huge, big, ‘you’re not worth it, you’re not good enough’, hole in my life.
As an early adult, I was diagnosed with various recurring ailments including influenza, asthma, candida, depression and endometriosis. I’m just going to talk about the latter one here, which completely covered both my ovaries disabling me from having my own children naturally. I discovered how these things were all connected, fueling a deep desire in me to find out more. So I decided pretty early on in life to start on a natural, self-care pilgrimage….and I’ve been on it ever since!
WHAT I LEARNT TRANSFORMED MY LIFE
As an early teen I had made numerous visits to doctors with severe abdominal pain, all of whom sent me home with pain killers and the insinuation that I was a girl who couldn’t handle her monthly cycle. But something in me instinctively knew that just wasn’t right. I also knew that I didn’t want to take pain killers for the rest of my life. So I curiously delved deeper.
I was drawn to Mind Body teachers like Debbie Shapiro, who taught that holding on to any emotions unattended for too long could actually turn into dis-ease and illness. I was intrigued. I wondered what connection the endometriosis might have with my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual self. I was curious to learn more. Then I came across Neuroscientist Candace Pert who had scientifically proven that every cell in our bodies reacts accordingly to what’s going on in our minds and in our emotions through their receptors*. Wow!
Now I really wanted to get to the heart of the matter. So I travelled inwards to investigate further. The endometriosis was covering both my ovaries thereby disabling me from having my own children naturally. My doctors had put me off seeking further medical help, so I turned to writing….a lot, and visualizing…and listening…and meditating.
What came up were memories of my biological mother and the physical and emotional void she had left me with that I’d been holding on to, unexpressed, for many years. It was interesting to me that the endometriosis had ‘latched’ onto my ovaries, the source of life, stopping me from having my own children. It was as if I needed to work through and release the issues surrounding my biological mother before I could become a parent myself. After some very deep and insightful work I felt like something had shifted, been released, let go of!
After years of infertility, I astonishingly found myself pregnant. PREGNANT! And not just once, but twice! (My gynaecologist couldn’t believe it!)
And there are more stories like these behind the recurring influenza, candida, asthma and depression too…but I’ll go into that another time!
THE BEST PART
Realizing the connection between childhood adversity and adult illness has definitely driven all my efforts to heal. I still find it absolutely amazing how our bodies communicate with us subconsciously through our moods, our symptoms, our ailments and even our dreams! If only we’d listen!
But it’s no longer just about joining the dots between my complicated start to life and the symptoms that show up for me. It’s now about being able to use all that I’ve learnt on my own journey to draw alongside and walk with others for a while on theirs, to listen to what their bodies are saying and help gently nudge them back to a place of emotional and physical wellness.
So….what’s your story?! And how’s it showing up for you right now?
I’D LOVE TO KNOW AND I’D LOVE TO HELP
The best places to connect with me are either here on my Contact page, or over on Facebook or Twitter. I share most of my creative side on Instagram, which I LOVE, and Pinterest is where I pull together my ideas. It’s also where I dream, collect and gather….
*From Dr Candace Pert’s book ‘Molecules of Emotion’.