Embracing Anger


This is one of the five Reiki principles I learnt, which I’m afraid to say I completely lost sight of last week when some anger erupted from seemingly nowhere with my kids. The whys and wherefores aren’t important here…..but the anger is.

A&A went off to school but the anger stayed with me. I felt it flow through my veins like it’d been injected into my system. Then I became really dull, like all my emotions had somehow been dampened. After a while I felt really tired. So much so that I fell asleep.

When I woke up I had a throbbing headache and my neck ached. My body was trying to tell me something and I needed to figure out what.


Interestingly we’d just had family over from the UK. We had a lovely time together but we were really sad when they left. As soon as we were up, we were out and about showing them around so I hadn’t meditated for a few days.

I knew I needed to connect with my deeper self to not only come face to face with this anger but to also go deeper than it. That way I could observe my feelings objectively, hopefully enabling some healing.


I sat quietly and asked my self ‘Where is my anger stored?’ and wrote down all that came up.

I then asked ‘What is my anger saying?’ and listened for the answers.

I kept this inner dialogue going until I got to the bottom of it. It was really interesting what was revealed and what it connected to. It turns out that my eruption was deep-seated and created a kind of body armor tightening the muscles in my head and neck. They were literally holding onto my repressed anger, creating tension. My energy was so depleted that my system actually shut down for a bit making me need to rest for a while.

Left unattended these repressed feeling can actually damage the immune system, eventually leading to all sorts of physical ailments including inflammation (literally being ‘inflamed’).


Once I’d addressed where the anger had come from I gave myself permission to release it. The headache and neck ache gradually ceased and I was right as rain the next day!

So we need to deal with these things as they come up (or get help doing so). We mustn’t let them go back down again to only reappear stronger another time. Our amazing bodies try to give us clues via disturbances, ailments, feelings, dreams etc….

Let’s not ignore them.

Let’s tune-in and listen!

Who Pushes Your Buttons?

Hi there!

I hope this finds you healthy and well my friend.

We’ve just celebrated our first American Thanksgiving with our very kind and hospitable neighbours and I have to say I loved it! It’s just like a British Christmas really, turkey ‘n all, but no presents. NO PRESENTS! Bliss! Just focusing on what we’re grateful for. The day after, however, brought ‘Black Friday’, where the malls are stuffed full of people buying, buying, buying. Consumerism at its worst/best! What a complete contrast to the day before (and my idea of hell!)  So, needless to say, I went nowhere near the malls, opting instead to stay at home to paint and draw (now to be known as ‘Black Ink Friday’ in my book!)

Anyway, there’s something that’s been brewing on my mind for a few weeks, so I thought I’d share it with you: it’s all about the people who push our buttons!

I don’t know how you view your public self but I think mine’s quite a happy, patient and (mostly) mature one yet my buttons still get pushed when I’m out there! In fact some people in life seem to be master button-pushers! They know exactly what to say (or not to say), do (or not to do) to transform us from calm, happy people into intolerant, impatient and, quite frankly, horrid ones!

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We know that the best button-pushers are usually the people closest to us…..our other halves, our kids, family, close friends, work colleagues…..people we see all the time (or have grown up with). But every now and then a complete stranger or someone we don’t know that well manages to push our buttons too (especially if they work for BT)!

So why is that? What are these so called bloomin’ buttons anyway? And why do they trigger such negative emotions?

I’ve been pondering on this lately because I recently had one of those nasty eruptions with someone I didn’t know that well, which really upset me. It upset me on a few levels: firstly, that I publicly lost my cool and I wasn’t able to control it. Secondly, my preference was normally NOT to react there and then but to take a deep breath, disengage and work through it in my journal at a later stage. That way I get to look at the bigger picture, prevent myself from upsetting anyone and avoid the inevitable counter-attack! And lastly, I’d really rather not be revealing that real and vulnerable side of me, at least without some prior notice, for all and sundry to see!

So what did I do? I went to my room, put a metaphorical spotlight on the whole episode and worked through it. I wanted to know what the story behind it was. Why? Because I know that if this kind of thing stays inside us, it does far more damage in the long run.

Mark Twain Quote

So it needs to be addressed. Whenever it comes up, for whatever reason, it really needs to be interrogated there and then. If we don’t work through it, ‘it’ would just ‘go back down’ and that would be like continually brushing dirt under the carpet. Eventually there’d be such a large accumulation to inevitably trip up over that we’d probably hurt ourselves! So we have a choice: either let it stay put knowing that it would keep rearing it’s ugly head at unwelcome times and potentially manifest into some sort of dis-ease, or work through it. The former is certainly the easiest route, but I prefer the latter!

If you don’t heed the messages from your body the first time they’re delivered, you’ll get hit with a bigger hammer the next time.  A delay or denial requires your body to speak louder and louder to get your attention. The purpose of emotions, regardless of what they are, is to help you feel and participate fully in your own life. Stop and experience them! Then change your behavior accordingly.

Dr Christiane Northrup

I personally believe, through my own experiences, that our bodies are so much more amazing than we believe they are. And when ‘something comes up’, whether it dulls us, drains us, makes us react unfavorably or ails us, then we really should listen! Our body is trying to tell us something. And we must have the curiosity to find out what!

Aristotle believed that everything happens for a reason, always. And that every experience in our lives was designed to shape us and reform us into the ultimate and greatest version of ourselves that we could ever imagine.

I’ve been working on this for most of my complicated, beautiful life…..and it’s still very much a work in progress…..but I do love it! Love it? Yup, love it! Don’t get me wrong – the process can be hard. Sometimes very hard. It takes courage. But the things that are released, recovered from and restored to make it so worth it in the end.

Having said all that, the most rewarding thing about all this for me started the moment I turned from looking inwards to looking outwards. I began wondering what other peoples’ stories were and how they got to the point they were at. Better still, in the midst of my curiosity, I discovered I was actually able to help people work through their own ‘stuff’ too.

Now this might sound strange but we should actually be grateful for all those button-pushers of ours out there! If it weren’t for them we may not be ‘challenged’ to work through our issues and we certainly wouldn’t be able to help others either. So let’s consider button-pushers as some of our greatest teachers!

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That’s it for now my friend. Do let me know if you there’s someone you think might be ‘stuck’ with any feeling, thought pattern or dis-ease in anyway! I’d love to help them work through it, wherever they are in the world! And if there’s anyone you think would like to read this blog…..please go ahead and pass it on:

www.naturallyyas.com

Bye for now! Until next time…..
Yx